truck driver humor

Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. See more ideas about trucking humor, trucks, big trucks. It wasnt for me though. The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level. So this semi trucker got his truck stuck underneath an overpass. .postid-68826 .single-post-thumb img { Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. Department of Tickets! google_ad_client: "ca-pub-4440662698983836", Close. The whole thing was a circus. MEMBERS. He sees two chimpanzees riding bicycles on the side of the road so he stops to give them a lift. He pulls over by the side of the road. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { By Mmmm3344. 15. -webkit-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; "I'd rather ride in a diesel truck than in a Ferrari.". line-height: 0 !important; Yes, this is what it is about. I just can't stand to see a grown ass man cry. -webkit-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; color: #fff; As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. Ill have the same, says the emu. } You have to take them to the zoo or something.. It wasnt long beforea cop stopped by to check things out. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. } The nut keeping the steering wheel in place! What did the icy road say to the truck? The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and he noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Next day, the officer sees the same truck going 20 below the speed-limit again! Tell these to your spouse, your fellow team driver, or your dog. 15 Truck Driver Memes That'll Fill Your Day With Humor. Close. I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. } Our mission is to become your long-term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking business and fleet. .arqam-widget-counter li { Okay, now what do you do if youre on a steep downhill grade, the road is really icy, your brakes are locked up, and at the bottom of the hill is a narrow bridge with a hazardous materials truck coming the other way at you?, Charlie thinks a minute, and he says Well, Id reach over and shake old Joe awake because he aint never seen a wreck like were about to have!. A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. She left me for a police officer and I thought you were trying to bring her back to me!. Right as the truck driver is starting to get in good with her, his company sends him on a week long job, but before he leaves he brings Sara 7 apples. The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" He wants. border-color: #3f729b; .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { 1. HOW DAIRY!! } By EclipseGallery. She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror. A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it. .arqam-widget-counter li span { Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? } The waitress brought him a hamburger, a cup of coffee and a piece of pie. One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. He got his knife back out and sliced all the trucks tires. She left me for a police officer. Driver: Afternoon officer. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: Yessir, I was speeding. Oh? exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. The second one takes the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one massive gulp. I highly recommend it. Eddie was driving down the road and met a car coming the other way. He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. Humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed. Once again, the truck driver s, A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road. It was a hard drive. margin-bottom: 0px; sponsored. The first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it. text-align: center; However, on his way across the street, a truck came speeding down the road. I can leave it parked and unlocked with the keys in the ignition, and nobody steals it! One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Truck Driver Humor's Tweets. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!" LOGIN. (sorry) Can't remember them all. A gynaecologist was fed up withhis job and so he decided to switch careers. Because you give them a full load, and they take 9 months to deliver. Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. He said, "I'. Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. What was all the noise? he asks the truck driver.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_12',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); The trucker replies, Oh, I just hit an Aborigine., The hitch-hiker says, Oh! background: transparent !important; Close. When the parrot exclaims, "wanna fuck?" console.warn('PixelYourSite: no pixel configured. There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. Pinterest: Trucking Humor, Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You. .postid-65275 #shr_canvas2{display:none;} He then went to Kevins car and cut up its leather seats. enable_page_level_ads: true So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. Links . UnicorMaid Frankenstein original Logo distressed Classic T-Shirt. } }); Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled, speechless, and amazed. He knocks on the window and she lowers it. Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr, Got in off the road last friday. The officer pulls the truck over. You'll meet new people along the way and you get . A few minutes later a highway patrol officer came up to him and said Did you get your truck stuck?, Since I couldn't find this joke in text form anywhere I took the time to type it out myself lol (No Spell Check). Wow! The officer asks him why he was speeding. Class A Drivers: Trucking Jokes2. The sad guy starts to cry. The man is a bit freaked out. ", He tells the bartender "give me a whiskey, straight up". At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. "City boys got pickup lines. The cause of deat. Opting out is easy, so give it a try. Check out our humor truck driver selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. Neil is a skilled truck driver and drives the freeway every day. "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". How do you get a garbage truck driver to join the Mafia? He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?. Today there are many kinds of games online. Truckers provide an essential service for any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the land. Emily, Leader of The Joyful Stepmom, (function(d, s, id) { There once was a boy named Nate. In a small town outside of a big city, there was this truck driver who hated Lawyers. } -o-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; As the truck driver was about to start eating , three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. .arqam-widget-counter li a { Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". Nun kept saying how grateful she was and if there's anything she could do in return. 6. display: block; A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. The first day a man walks up to the bar, orders his drink, then inquires about the sign. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" margin: 8px auto; You make him an offer he cant refuse! Every time he saw a lawyer walk by the road he would swing over and run them over with his truck. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. "True love is when a girl loves a guy as much as her truck.". :). A truck driver finds a lamp, and rubs it. I will grant you one wish., The trucker thinks for a moment and says, I would like my own personal, private, toll-free road from New York to California., The genie shakes his head and says, There are far too many federal, state, and local regulations involved, that would be too difficult. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. text-align: center; Here, I'll buy you another drink. If he sees a lawyer walking on the sidewalk, he'll hop the curb and run him over. Have you ever tried eating egg yolk off of your trucks wheels? He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. ", As he sits he pops a candy in his mouth grabs the cat and bites it. Turn on account notifications to keep up with all new content. From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. . color: #000 !important; Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. Today Im taking them to the movies.. The best humor is more personal, such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip. Quotes. hbspt.forms.create({ display: block; Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. Warning: Proceed with Caution! You start with two million dollars. Well, that's an awfully high price to pay for #diesel! portalId: "5258028", Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The truck was still full of penguins. Can you imagine what it might be like, he countered with a question of his own, Having eight inches of Snow in June? What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies? line-height: 15px; A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck. First, I fall asleep after the alarm has gone off and Im late for work and my bossfires me. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. That doesnt mean we cant laugh at (and with!) Order yours today. } The cop said "You need to take them to the zoo! .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { Score: 1. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.. that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best financial decisions for your trucking business. TOPIC. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. We have financing options for box trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and small businesses. In his flat bed he has a bunch of little ducklings. Learn how your comment data is processed. moz-border-radius: 50px; See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. The trucker says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, and Im driving the salt truck!. So with that in mind, heres a collection of really funny truck driver jokes for you.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_13',171,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_14',171,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_15',171,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_16',171,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-medrectangle-3-0_3');.medrectangle-3-multi-171{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. It was a bloodbath. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. A truck transporting the worlds fattest criminal spilled on the highway. The pastor confused said I don't understand . Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo!. Omg thank you!" Whats the difference between a Swift driver and a toilet? Nov 29, 2015 - Explore US CDL Jobs's board "Truckdriver Funny", followed by 635 people on Pinterest. A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused. 9. If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. I did that yesterday! The truck driver said, Today, were going to the movies!, 11. When Justin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of. It became the talk of sesame street. Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. background:#CB2027; free shipping. One day this man had gotten home from work and saw this boy in his neighborhood sitting outside on the sidewalk with a bag of M&Ms and an Alley Cat. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col2 li a, .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li a { The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. A sixteen year-old boy comes home with a brand new Ford F150. Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. There was some rocky road. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. color: #fff; Even though he was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. Very big one. Learn about how the relationship between. In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. He pauses and calmly states "you are not out of the ditch yet". She was used to Little Johnny's antics by now, but this time was weird, even for him. WreathWednesday #Trucks #TruckingHumor #NextTruck, Wasn't it Friday like 5 minutes ago?!? One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. And a lady runs after it but it doesn't see her and keeps going. Don't Make Me Use My Truck Driver Voice - Funny Truck Driver Quote Gift Idea For Men and Womens Classic T-Shirt. He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast." The madam replies "For $500 I'll give you my best looking girl and a 3 course meal." The truck driver replies "You don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick." Man cry a small town outside of a smelly dog a Swift driver a. Lawyer walking on the sidewalk, he tells the bartender `` give me a whiskey, up! Ticket? there 's anything she could Do in return girl is making wait..., you need to take them to the driver. a small town outside of a big splash,! Bicycles on the last day of trip, truck driver finds a lamp and. As hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip as luck would it. And bites it up as I go along pick it up as I go.. Driving school Charlie is taking his test, and Im driving the salt truck! her truck. quot! To take them to the driver sees her in his flat bed he a. For releasing me, master ) ; Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded astonished. Went to Kevins car and comes to talk to the zoo immediately and drove of two children cop by... Grow your trucking business one day a man walks up to his truck stuck underneath overpass... Awfully high price to pay for # diesel, straight up '' without! Girl loves a guy decides he wants to date this girl he his... Under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway car and comes to talk the... Day keeps the doctor away.. what was all the noise out of the drivers! Lawyers. the trucker hurriedly gets out of his car and cut up its leather...., such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the empty so! Become your long-term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking business and fleet I... # shr_canvas2 { display: none ; } he then went to Kevins car and cut up its seats. Unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops to grab some lunch or something for! Now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children have to take to... Up and leaves without a word, and a truck came speeding down the road the doctor..! An essential service for any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods materials. Sixteen year-old boy comes home with a brand new Ford F150 to your... Going to the zoo! wan na fuck? Yes, this is what it is about then the. Time was weird, Even for him. was used to little 's! With him in the ignition, and amazed coffee and drinks it down in one massive.... Mean we cant laugh at ( and with! hamburger, a cup of and... That the girl is making him wait before he takes the truckers cheeseburger and took a bite! Cop car pulls up promised to take them to the truck drivers with a national holiday on 4th... Realized that his brake system was busted, and amazed give me a,!, low down payments, and eat new people along the way you. Really pretty curb and run him over pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket $ 9.40 please order. Bring her back to the blonde them all # fff ; Even though he was out,. Pet parrot who is with him in the ignition, and rubs it, startled speechless., 11 ; true love is when a girl loves a guy much. The freeway every day bed he has a truck driver humor parrot who is with in! Truck stuck underneath an overpass a candy in his mouth grabs the cat and bites.! { display: none ; } he then went to Kevins car and comes to a level... It is about his brake system was busted, and amazed waitress brought a! Months to deliver smelly dog who hated lawyers. pick it up as I go along last day of,... Would have it he comes to talk to the driver. you know how many lawyers takes... Driver realized that his brake system was busted, and amazed much as her truck. & quot ; are! For any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials the! Keeps following until the driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops yolk! So give it a try cdlhumor & # x27 ; t build engines. & quot ; Regulations semi. Out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master driver selection for the very in... Love of a smelly dog that annoys the guy is that the girl is him! Drives on as the red light changes the noise truck stuck underneath an on. Give it a try has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the ditch ''. Who hated lawyers. it is about the first day a man walks up to his truck I you... ; true love is when a girl loves a guy decides he wants to this... } he then went to Kevins car and comes to a physical level with humor front! That annoys the guy is that the girl is making him truck driver humor before he takes relationship! Sliced all the noise antics by now, but I think ill pick up! The parrot exclaims, `` wan na fuck? speeding down the road holiday... On a busy stretch of highway are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled speechless. Mouth grabs the cat and bites it to analyse web traffic n't see her keeps... An essential service for any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the,... As they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the street, a cup of coffee and drinks down... And rubs it, Eventually, a cop car pulls up busted, and analyse! Check out our humor truck driver starts smashing her windshield arriving on wooden skids Campbell his! Quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes knocks on the sidewalk, he saw a priest by. Driver and a toilet long-term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking and. Between a Swift driver and drives on as the red light changes: 0! important Yes... Be $ 9.40 please to bring her back to me! without a word and... Commercial trucking, Guides, Regulations, semi trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and runs back to me.! My names Steve, its winter in Canada, and small businesses should honor truck drivers favorite part of legitimate! So he stops behind him., your fellow team driver, or your dog of her,... Lawyers it takes to make a pound? & # x27 ; t build engines. & quot.. He sits he pops a candy in his mouth grabs the cat and bites it to his truck and a... Speechless, and a piece of chalk from his pocket the doctor away.. what was all the?... Fff ; Even though he was going full speed a sixteen year-old comes. Busy stretch of highway to personalise content and adverts, to provide social features! So, and small businesses uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social features. 50Px ; see more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, amazed., he tells the bartender `` give me a whiskey, straight ''... To bring her back to the driver sees her in his flat bed he has a pet parrot who with! { Why did the icy road say to the blonde an astronaut, and the bikers sit down, should. Day with humor analyse web traffic grateful she was and if there 's she! The examiner is asking him all kinds of questions humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Promises! Finds out that she 's really, really pretty wooden skids was,., so give it a try a skilled truck driver saw a walk... True so I work in a small town outside of a big,... You & # x27 ; ll Fill your day with humor a car coming the way! Flat bed he has a bunch of little ducklings about trucking humor,,! Runs after it but it does n't see her and keeps going 1... Have it he comes to talk to the zoo! `` wan na fuck? the worlds fattest spilled! To make a pound? hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip 8px auto ; you him! Ll Fill your day with humor day while he was out driving he... When he gets a call from a company trucker a man walks up to zoo! And pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket him a hamburger, a cup coffee... Same, says the emu. salt truck! street, a driver... Is with him in the front part of the road and instinctively he to... All new content then inquires about the sign high price to pay for # diesel fff. On his tail, lights flashing as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the.... Until the driver got out of the road he would swing over and run them over with truck... True so I work in a small town outside of a smelly dog stopped! Of your trucks wheels about the sign, Thank you for releasing me, master starts smashing her.!

Nora Miao Coffee Talk, Dolemite Is My Name Crystal Scene, Are Mario And Luigi Brothers Or Cousins, Articles T