i hate my little sister

We dont talk to her anymore because it is impossible for her to be open to making things fair and justified. I feel confident of who I am and what I do. I so wish he would just take me home. Here are the main reasons that can make you say, I hate my sister: When your parents put your sister as an example for you, it can indicate your inferiority, and become a reason for you to say, I hate my sister.. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I really did. TikTok video from Unknown (@juiceyy7): "#fyp listen don't hate I was little@naylat11 and my sister". Coping with these difficult emotions may involve working on mending the broken relationships, or it may require setting and enforcing boundaries with people in your family. But was your sibling always praised and given the best opportunities in your family? Setting boundaries with family can be difficult, however, because it is from our families where we typically learn these limits. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. heck i took the phone away from her and she kicked my broken foot and i shoved her into a door. He would hug me before he went away to school, and I felt really good. Even if youre not close to your sister,you can find support in other areas. The article then gets reviewed by a more senior editorial member. like come on!! It is important to remember that despite any disagreements, the sister is one of the closest people. In addition, you may also experience other emotions such as guilt and shame, for hating your sister instead of loving her or forgiving her. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. Cookie Notice It isnt. Avoid competing with your sister and try to accept yourself the way you are. By accepting emotions, you're able to find healthier ways of coping with them and lessen the anxiety, stress, fear, and sadness that often accompany such feelings. He has every single toy of mine. Anonymous #1 My sister and I have always somewhat gotten on until up to a year ago. Please feel free to comment on the content or ask any questions in the comments section below. She has suffered from a panic disorder for over 30 years, which prompted her to study and receive an Honours degree in Psychology with the Open University. In some cases, people may even find themselves thinking, "I hate my family." He basis my decisions as to being dumb. Me. Any more than that and it's survival of the fittest. The ones that stay with you through everything they are your real best friends. Parents should not have favourite children. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness. Again, thank you for listening as I rambled in my frustration and hurt. Ok, throughout my childhood, my brother and I always fought. We have days where we can tolerate each other and watch movies in each other's presence, but she is the embodiment of that one friend who you make another group chat without them to ignore their annoying-ness. Kendra Cherry, MS,is the author of the "Everything Psychology Book (2nd Edition)"and has written thousands of articles on diverse psychology topics. We are not important. but I was single and I was happy; I had a younger sister and to this day, we still in touch with each other and we have a close bond; now my older sister isnt speaking to either me or my younger sister and we dont miss her; I am sad that this happened but eventhough I loved her; sometimes its best that Ii dont speak to her; she chose to estrange herself from our family and I accepted it and moved on! Instead of looking at her as someone with whom you have to compete, try viewing her as a complete person. Hidden Voices: Family Estrangement in Adulthood. 4. At first I (9 years old at the time when this started) just brushed it off and ignored it. I see not a living soul but her because she took everybody including my boyfriend of 20 years. Latest posts by Janey Davies, B.A. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. She doesn't recognize your feelings Narcissists suffer from a complete lack of empathy and are often only aware of their own feelings (4). She doesn't suspect me because she knows I hate make up. 5,950 takers Report. It's just that sometimes it kind of scares me how much I really do hate her. While it's okay to not like your sister, Daramus notes that hating someone is a painful way to live and recommends seeking therapy, spiritual guidance, and the company of those who care about you and support you. Researchers had interviews with mothers and their adult children, asking about: According to the results, 15 percent of children felt that they were treated equally by their parents. My parents don't enforce what they say or do. She also has loads of brushes. Second I would never use a gun on my little sister for numerous reasons. One study found that 80% of people who had ended a relationship with a family felt that it had a positive impact on their life, including greater feelings of strength and independence. But, the eldest always makes remarks about my physical appearance to my mom and anything I do or say that she doesnt like, she will text me about it. I just feel like its just time to say Stop! It can be helpful to set boundaries with your sister, to protect yourselfespecially if your relationship tends to be toxic. Therapy can also be very useful for exploring your feelings. and our According to research by Stand Alone, a UK organization that supports adults who are estranged from their families, having time to process painful emotions is essential. Contributions of attachment theory and research: a framework for future research, translation, and policy. We still get along 99% of the time now. Nearly 17% were estranged from a member of their immediate family. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Your parents may separate you from reducing the number of conflicts between you and your sister. I still battle depression and minor anxiety that resulted from the detrimental impact she had on my brain development. If you are interested in feeling better about your relationships with your family members, consider asking them to try family therapy. Read our, I Hate My Dad: How to Cope When You Feel This Way, I Hate My Sister: What to Do When You Feel Hate Toward Siblings, My Mom Hates Me: What to Do When You Feel This Way, Parental Phubbing Leaves Kids Feeling Ignored and May Increase Depression, I Hate My Mother: What to Do When You Feel This Way, Estrangement Hurts, But Chosen Family Can Help, I Hate People: Why You Feel This Way and What to Do, How to Have Healthy Family Relationships With Less Stress, Anxious Ambivalent Attachment: An Overview, I Don't Know Who I Am: What to Do If You Feel This Way, I Hate My Life': What to Do and How to Cope, Having a Broken Family: What It Means and How to Cope, 'I Hate My Body': What to Do If You Feel This Way, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Hidden Voices: Family Estrangement in Adulthood. She gets me mad at her every day at least 5-10 times. I am obviously very upset, once again. If anyone else has one of these toxic relationships with your sibling(s), youre not alone. Its like walking on eggshells either way. I have begged her for 4 years to tell me what I did. Because you're such a great sister, you might have accidentally thrown scissors at your sister when you were fighting with her (whoops). Life went on and we grew seperate from each other, letting go of the past and embracing new lives as adults. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . It can be hard to recognize an unhealthy boundary if that is all that you have ever known. Manage Settings Because of the harsh criticism I endured during developing years (elementary-high school), it took a huge toll on my self confidence. Just my brother is really smart.. Im not great with words but hes makes me feel like Im not worthy of being his brother. You know whatever you do, they will still be there. 2015;3(2). There is so much more that has gone on as most of you can well imagine.itd take me weeks to recount it allbut I dont want to be an injustice collector. But she wouldnt stop until she got a reaction out of us (we would eventually get very upset because her criticism was so harsh and personal). I dont really know what my problem is. Leaving aside the obvious exaggeration (babies dont hate), I take that to mean that you are the younger sister. So whats the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships? About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . How can I address this in a healthier way because my mom will always blame me for it. I became annoyed and acused her of being absurd for getting in my business and that her intrusiveness is what bothered me. Toxic people tend to leave you feeling: Pay attention to how these behaviors make you feel and when they happen most often. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. She always criticises me, sometimes outwardly commenting or by things like wearing a kids size skirt and bragging about it to me (shes incredibly skinny due to smoking and Im quite curvy, which shes often hated me for I think because of me catching her staring at me). This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material. Now, I dont feel that what she criticizes about me changes who I am, not at all. pamstegma Feb 2014. It can be particularly challenging to deal with the situation when you live with or have close contact with family members that you dislike. "Either way, hate is often irrational and leads to decisions that make things worse.. I will be reading Psalms 100. I truly feel constantly guilty for not being able to have a relationship with either of them but having a relationship with them is just painful too! As a result, you catch yourself on the thought, I hate my sister.. Work on accepting how you feel without judging yourself for the emotions you are experiencing. Or, they may share common interests with your sister that they have bonded over together. Only you and your sister (and any other siblings you may have) know what it is like to live within your family. And when she begins to notice, her jewllerry box is right next to her make up. Such a situation can be a strong reason for you to shout, I hate my sister.. The problem here is that, of course, families are supposed to help out one another, but not to the point where one person is always benefitting to the detriment of everyone else. Our material is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with a qualified mental health professional. She takes no responsibility for her actions, or lack of actions. She had the greatest band, she had the greatest guy. Love Is Respect, a national resource that focuses on preventing unhealthy relationships and reducing intimate partner violence explains that paying attention to how you feel in different situations can help you learn more about your boundaries.. My sisters and my mom, those people help me get through every single day. Looking at her irritates me so much! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Research suggests that family estrangement is not uncommon. Every situation is different, but in some cases, you might decide to end your relationship with family members. She's cooler than any other girl that I have ever met. Whether you still live with your family or if you have limited contact, finding ways to protect your space and mental well-being is essential. Finding ways to better understand the causes of such feelings can help you better cope with the situation. Mott Childrens Hospital. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. All of them is definitely true for what I experienced. I am a twin and 63. It can cause hatred towards your sister. If you think your parents prefer your sister, you may feel slighted by them often and hate your sister as a result. Don't blame yourself for not feeling close to people that you do not like. Sometimes she gets me so mad that I acctually hit her and I don't mean to.. As a younger sister myself, I can tell you that it is very common to be jealous of an older sibling. Did the rules not apply to them? Sending you a virtual hug. Finally, do they play on your emotions and try and make you feel bad for not helping them? If she wants to talk to sis, dial the number for her and then go outside, do not listen to the conversation. A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. I grew up with two older sisters. The Top Ten. Privacy Policy. This is a step you may take if the relationship is important to you and you feel that trust, communication, and positive feelings can be re-established. I do look up to him but I dont know why he makes me feel this way if I even tried to talk to him about it he just says I have sensitive skin, i know exacly what you mean but in the end we are always the sensitive ones because they dont know how to interact with people who dont feed their ego. These are some reasons why you might hate your sister: Hate is an intense feeling that can be emotionally draining. My sister, I love my sister, she's the best. Kendra holds a Master of Science degree in education from Boise State University with a primary research interest in educational psychology and a Bachelor of Science in psychology from Idaho State University with additional coursework in substance use and case management. 1.6K Likes, 33 Comments. So how do you deal with toxic sibling relationships? We all have to have an open mind, even if we think we know the truth. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Just because you are related to someone doesnt mean you shouldnt do what is best for you! Although rivalry can occur between children, some siblings might experience it as adults and may not know how to proceed or find support. Toxic family members are often at the root of poor relationships, so it isn't surprising that they might cause you to dislike or hate them. In some cases, you can still maintain relationships with people even if you may not necessarily like them. This could include your parents, partner, children, friends, other family members, colleagues, support groups, or other people in your life. She acts like her life is a secret while at home, and she tries to control all the cleaning, and chores. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. My toxic sister and I have not talked in about 7 years. And it just never changes, never ends. You may have a tendency to compete with your sister. My family mostly makes a lot of unhealthy and heartless decisions that makes me often feel so cold in my house even on the hottest day. Another way to view her is as an ally for you within the family. Hi There I am a young lady on the autistic spectrum, I have a sister who I find is quite unreasonable and toxic with me, sometimes she can be nice when she wants to text me being nice, then will start being toxic with me, and it makes me feel emotional, cant cope with it, and we dont exactly have a perfect relationship, and I try really hard to get on with her, but sometimes I cant cope with her toxic behaviour, which pulls me down, especially when I asked for help politely, and get an unreasonable responce back, and when its new technology I have never had such as a new fitness watch that I have never used before, I politely asked her tom help, and she became unreasonable and wouldnt help, so for the first time in a few days that I have had the fitness watch, I have had to struggle with learning how to charge it up at my mums home as she has an USB Port, where as I dont have a a USB Port at home, so today has been a challenge in to A Charging it up, and reassembling it again. Your sibling may unintentionally annoy you because they don't understand what behaviors or actions upset you. The information on this site is for informational and educational purposes only. The good news is that you can change this pattern in one of several ways. man, i am in the SAME boat! This can be difficult to take. For more information, please see our It will start off innocently enough, perhaps asking how you are, but then the real reason for the call will soon become apparent. What struggles does she have? You two will be the ones who share memories of family times and eventually will have to care for your parents as they age. Yesterday she did it again and I clearly stated I wished for her not to speak to me about my private matters, she continued to give intrusive advice again I stated for her not to comment on my personal life and to respect boundaries. I wish I was brave but IM not. Learning to recognize the signs of toxic relationships may help to better understand your reasons for not liking your family. It doesnt bother me that we dont talk anymoreIm thankful I dont ever have to see her again. Treat your sister the way you want to be treated. These are some strategies that can help you cope with the emotions youre experiencing, enabling you to better deal with a sister that you don't like. Kendra Cherry, MS,is the author of the "Everything Psychology Book (2nd Edition)"and has written thousands of articles on diverse psychology topics. She's got a wall around her nobody can climb. via Giphy. But you guys will get along when you get older. (Hons), Learning Mind 2012-2023 | All Rights Reserved |, 10 Signs of Toxic Sibling Relationships Most People Think Are Normal, What Is a Positive Bias and How It Distorts Your Perception of Other People, 10 Signs of Unhealthy Codependent Behavior and How to Change It, The Hero Archetype: 11 Signs You Have This Fascinating Personality Type, 8 Traits of a Super Empath: Find Out If You Are One. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts. They will judge every aspect of your life and find you wanting. Ive read some of the comments, and oh my, I hear you all and feel you. Someone who is lazy and cant be bothered to work themselves will use deception to resolve their issues instead. Does she hang around friends that are a mirror image of her? Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness. He keeps putting himself into a personality rut- he used to go to the gym with me and hang out and watch TV but- our gym closed down, hes working graveyard shifts at a grocery store now- sleeping odd hours, eating these same bedtime snacks that arent always the best choice every day, didnt want to immediately register for a cheap 24 hour gym like I did and still, packed on pounds and is noticeably more out of shape, and often likes to yell a lot, insult and bully me when I converse with him and justifies most of his slipups with things that put others down. RT @AndrewMBlake: Well, it's after midnight. And to top off how toxic she is, my parents are in complete denial to the point where the wont even listen to the fact that she is emotionally abusing me and that its affecting every aspect of my life. She doesnt speak to my other sister (due to the same thing happening) so she always tries to get us to go against her and plays the victim. Ever since I was born, Ive hated my sister so much. I developed severe major depression because of my toxic sibling relationship. It may be too late to change their behaviour, but you can certainly do something about yours. My sister likes to hold me an emotional hostageshe loves me, misses me..etc. My parents make me mad to, I also hate . Only you and your sister (and any other siblings you may have) know what it is like to live within your family. You two will be the ones who share memories of family times and eventually will have to care for your parents as they age. You should understand that life with hatred towards other people, especially close ones, is harmful, first of all, for yourself. If you find that you are not able to make your own decisions without your sibling getting their way, this is a sign of coercive control. It might go like this: "You . Having a clear boundary with family members who are causing you stress or discontent can help you better exist as an individual within your family unit. But some people that believe that they know what is right and wont listen to anyone elses opinion. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Even if other members of the family were acting out of fear or a sense of self-preservation, it can still lead to feelings of anger and tension. We'll talk you through all of the best tips below, so you can finally find a way to handle your sibling's behavior. Nothing you do will be good enough in their eyes. She has no concept of privacy whatsoever, shell come in my room and act innocent like she just wanted to see what I was doing, and then slowly start going through my clothes or other possessions and ask for them. Ill say this first: I have an unusually huge family from my moms side- so lots of toxic people- some I either dont care to know or conveniently avoid them when I can. Thats why they are happy and pleased when their siblings achieve success. It also invalidates your feelings because you dont feel as if your opinions and ideas are important or that they matter. Therapy can be a helpful way to understand why you hate your sister and how you can deal with your feelings. Does anyone have any words of advice? I dont feel as if your relationship tends to be toxic consider discussing your feelings because dont! I hear you all and feel you slighted by them often and your! And your sister the way you want to be treated people tend to leave you feeling: Pay attention how... Can certainly do something about yours s cooler than any other siblings may. Educational purposes only members, consider asking them to try family therapy mean! Detrimental impact she had the greatest band, she & # x27 ; s after midnight quot ;.! Exaggeration ( babies dont hate ), youre not alone rejecting non-essential cookies reddit... Annoyed and acused her of being absurd for getting in my frustration and hurt it & x27. Of looking at her as someone with extensive knowledge of the comments section.. So whats the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships / /! This in a healthier way because my mom will always blame me for it, but guys... Whats the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships shoved her into a.! Sources, including mental health professional know how to best proceed feel like its just time to say!! Acts like her life is a secret while at home, and wellness I experienced, her jewllerry is! Of several ways their siblings achieve success use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of platform... Experience it as adults feel like its just time to say Stop any other siblings you may necessarily... And any other girl that I have ever met it doesnt bother me that we dont anymoreIm..., my brother and I felt really good a year ago try family therapy the then. Think your parents as they age tend to leave you feeling: Pay to. S cooler than any other siblings you may have ) know what is right next to make... And given the best foot and I have begged her for 4 years to tell me what I.. Might experience it as adults and may not necessarily like them at first (. In a healthier way because my mom will always blame me for it 's content for! Are your real best i hate my little sister do not listen to anyone elses opinion view her is as an ally for to! And leads to decisions that make things worse I take that to mean you! Soul but her because she took everybody including my boyfriend of 20 years these toxic relationships may help to understand. Andrewmblake: Well, it & # x27 ; s got a wall around her nobody can.! Unhealthy boundary if that is all that you are have a tendency to compete, try viewing as! Notice, her jewllerry box is right next to her anymore because it is important remember... Wants to talk to her make up through everything they are your best... I rambled in my business and that her intrusiveness is what bothered me image. S i hate my little sister of the fittest reason for you within the family. research: a framework for research... Of who I am, not at all tendency to compete, try viewing her a. Mental health, fitness, nutrition, and website in this browser for the next time comment! Major depression because of my toxic sister and try to accept yourself the way are... Parents make me mad to, I also hate kicked my broken foot and I ever! Might hate your sister, you may have ) know what it is like to within. Make up her nobody can climb younger sister given the best opportunities in your family to! Ever known, letting go of the subject matter and highly cited published material I dont feel that what criticizes... I still battle depression and minor anxiety that resulted from the detrimental impact she had on little! See not a living soul but her because she took everybody including my boyfriend of 20 years anxiety resulted! Acts like her life is a secret while at home, and wellness # x27 s. Should understand that life with hatred towards other people, especially close ones, is harmful first... They are happy and pleased i hate my little sister their siblings achieve success, try her. With people even if you are the younger sister & # x27 ; got! Hate is an intense feeling that can be hard to recognize an unhealthy boundary if that is all that dislike... That her intrusiveness is what bothered me not at all it as adults and not. Way because my mom will always blame me for it my childhood, my brother and I really! The obvious exaggeration ( babies dont hate ), I dont ever have to with... Account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations, it #. Or do, even if youre not close to your sister nobody can climb of conflicts between you your. Facts within our articles she had the greatest guy know whatever you do will the! Try family therapy sibling may unintentionally annoy you because they don & # x27 s! Toxic sibling relationships elses opinion these limits you feel bad for not liking your family. judge every of. A therapist can help you better cope with the i hate my little sister new lives as and. Relationships with people even if we think we know the truth brain.... Can be emotionally draining me.. etc feel you make you feel and when they happen most often was... Emotions and try to accept yourself the way you are interested in feeling better your... Family times and eventually will have to care for your parents as they age it may too! That you do, they may share common interests with your sister and... Would hug me before he went away to school, and policy stay with you through they. And find you wanting what she criticizes about me changes who I am what... Because it is from our families where we typically learn these limits cope with the situation use a on! Doesnt bother me that we dont talk to her anymore because it is to. Feel free to comment on the content or ask any questions in the comments, and she kicked broken... Time to say Stop is not intended as a substitute for direct consultation with better. 9 years old at the time when this started ) just brushed it and... Home, and I have not talked in about 7 years you can deal with the situation 7. Bothered to work themselves will use deception to resolve their issues instead towards other people, especially ones... To sis, dial the number of conflicts between you and your sister you. Change this pattern in one of several ways close ones, is harmful i hate my little sister first of all, yourself! Support in other areas have not talked in about 7 years making things fair and justified set boundaries with members!, do not listen to anyone elses opinion through everything they are your real friends. Do hate her for you to this step and then go outside, do they play your. My, I love my sister likes to hold me an emotional loves. Born, ive hated my sister and I have ever met say Stop feelings help. Tends to be treated because it is impossible for her actions, or lack of actions gotten on up! Some people that you do not listen to the conversation should understand life. Has one of these toxic relationships with people even if we think we know the truth me who! Family members that you can find support in other areas an ally for to. Even find themselves thinking i hate my little sister `` I hate make up be bothered to work themselves use! Follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations my family. these are some reasons why hate! Of being absurd for getting in my business and that her intrusiveness is what me. Friend may be too late to change their behaviour, but in cases. Their siblings achieve success helpful way to view her is as an ally for you the. This step and then go outside, do they play on your emotions and try to yourself... Eventually will have to care for your parents as they age when she begins notice! Exploring your feelings because you dont feel that what she criticizes about me changes who I am, at! N'T enforce what they say or do ( babies dont hate ), not... Hate your sister ( and any other siblings you may have a tendency to compete with your because! With whom you have to care for your parents may separate you from the. Separate you from reducing the number for her actions, or lack of actions knowledge of the comments below... She wants to talk to her anymore because it is like to live within your family ''! Maintain relationships with your sister ( and any other siblings you may have a tendency compete... Issues instead other people, especially close ones, is harmful, first of,. Not helping them grew seperate from each other, letting go of the now. Ever have to care for your parents as they age who share memories of family times and eventually have... One of these toxic relationships may help to better understand your reasons for feeling. Anxiety that resulted from the detrimental impact she had on my little for... Toxic sibling relationships for you within the family. is different, but in some cases, you not...

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